Lady, Be Good

March 2 2009.

“All my being is in this single moment…more is impossible.”
-No man is a hero to his valet.
-Yes, that’s true, but not because the man is NOT a hero, but because the valet is a valet. He takes off the hero’s boots, assists him to bed, knows that he prefers champagne…

Gallant (of you). I do not believe in the intentionality of history, get it away. This entire book is excessive. At best, it is bullshit. A lost revolution, entrenched. Why file the rosaries away? Blood feud? Give me here this punitive form of primitive justice. You cannot be 50% guilty.

Future: heart and brain tattoos on my forearms, blood on my back. No lie can last forever!

When in fact, in love with the other in the room for the entire time. The sadness of waste! And eternity yawns before us. Finding that possibility of breaking is incredibly fragile. This elusiveness of history- my history and your history and our history and the music I can hear that you deny. Again and again and again. This is an out-and-out love poem to “the people.” He is loving them to immortality, and “that was a very long answer to a question that wasn’t a question.”

Voltaire, what were you thinking? “Believe what I believe, and what you cannot believe, or you will die.”

“All we need to do is hang a few aristocrats from the lampposts.” Well? And everything will be well. I need to be kissed in public, I need someone to kiss me in public. I want to pull your hair. Will grape juice give you purple mouth? Can tell who loves whom by the collection of wine-swollen lips. Ducky has noticed me looking at his mouth, the jut of his upper lip, the dark lipstick-like line below. No, I do not want him in bed, but yes, I want to put my fingers in between his lips.

Blender: Why do you reject my love?
Bruiser: I’m trying to learn.

The professor says, you have to have a philosophy of why people do things. I say no no no no no. the people are poor and hungry, but all they’re fed is endless revolutionary rhetoric, yet no more bread. Les Sans-Culottes with that vixen-esque quality he claims to see in the swing of my hips, the turn of my head. When you feel like you have right on your side, you can do some horrific things. God is a truth and His world is a truth. What’s activating history? NOTHING. The world, however, never stands still.

She would be that little maid condemned for stealing a handkerchief. Her death would rip apart the rite of the beautiful execution. The Supreme Court ruled our Constitution not a suicide pact.

So, here: You’re 21 years old. You join a revolutionary conspiracy group, you do something that could have you rot in jail, EVERYTHING is staked on this, this action, this moment--- and nothing happens. The peasants do not become politicized. It was all for nothing. And This! Rwanda: most efficient massacre. 1 million people killed in 1 hundred days. One by one by one by one.

My pre-foreclosure department nicknamed themselves “The Wardens of Death Row.”

Hitchens: There is no such thing as an absolute. Argue against them.
Fish: We all have our absolutes, which we can’t challenge.

You don’t think immediately about how the world feels (but I do!). Do you know Sosia? There are seven or eight people who look just like you in this world. And if you make me a mix CD, part of me will almost definitely fall for you. I like it best when I can hear you echoed in the tracks. You’ve given me some part of you, every time. It’s like, oh! Here I am!

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. You know it will be alright.
“I am all sensation; I connect with the world around me by feeling alone.”